I probably shouldn’t tell anyone this.

I probably shouldn’t write this post.

It will likely convince the entire world that I am insane.

But after today, I’m not so sure that’s not true.

Anyway, it’s been a long time since I’ve written anything.  A long, long time.  So I wanted to make sure it was something really, really good.  Something I felt really strongly about.

And today I experienced something really wonderful-and terrible .  So I decided to write about it.

It was 1:15.  And I was starving.

So I ran across the street, penguin style in my pencil skirt.  I fully intended to hit up the $4 Chinese buffet.  But as I scurried down the hallway, a sign caught my eye: “Let’s Do Greek“.

And then I had to.

I had to have a gyro.  And I had to have one now.

So I went.

Let’s Do Greek is a smallish hole-in-the-wall type family establishment in downtown Oklahoma City.  I have never tasted anything so delicious.  Best fries in the world.  But the fries haven’t got anything on the gyro.  Melt-in-your-mouth meat on a soft pita bed.

I didn’t even mind the onions–Which I usually mind.  Because onions are slimy and gross.  And make you cry–but this time I didn’t mind.  Until about thirty seconds after I left the restaurant.

Now I remember why I hate onions.

Onion breath.

I stuffed a piece of 5 gum in my mouth (Usually I only do a half piece, because that does the trick, but this time I decided to go for a whole one) and was able to muscle through the next hour.  After that I tried a glass of lemonade.  And the half eaten cherry sucker in my bag.  But nothing worked.

And that’s when things got crazy.

I’d taken a restroom break.  And I’d gone to wash my hands.

And that’s when I got desperate.

I was in an onion-induced coma and I lost my mind.  I thought to myself, anything would be better than onions.  And then I did as my mother advised me anytime I told a lie.

I washed out my mouth with soap.

And it didn’t even work.  Even now as I write this post I can taste the sickly combination of onions and soap on my tongue.

I hate onions.

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