On Being a Convict

Last Saturday I woke up at death thirty in the morning.  In this case “death” refers to six.  Because waking up at six thirty in the morning is an unholy activity.Of this I am sure.I put an a pair of jeans and a BYU tee, threw my hair into a messy bun, and then proceeded to trek up to campus.  

Why?  

Because I had a date with a twelve passenger van an orange jumpsuit and a pair of handcuffs.

A couple of weeks ago I signed up to participate in a R&R’s campaign against driving under the influence during the St. Patty’s Day parade.  Why did I do this? 

A) Drunk driving is the devil and 
B) I really, really, really wanted to dress up like a convict.  

You see dress up is my very favorite game.  This is because I haven’t decided to grow up just yet and also because it is statistically proven that 15/7 people who play dress up live better, longer.  And I’m all for a long and healthy life.  I’m really looking forward to being one of those old grandma’s that’s like seventy and still playing sardines at family reunions.  AND finding all the best hiding spots.

But anyway, the 25 of us (cool) AdLabbers met up for bagels at 7:00 and then headed for the vans.  I got in a van with Mika and LJ because they’re super fly.  When we got to SLC, we found a nice little parking lot that claimed to charge two bucks for parking (and actually didn’t charge any . . . because no one was in the toll booth–Which I am okay with).  Then we proceeded towards the energy solutions building where we were outfitted in the coolest orange jumpsuits ever.  Then they gave us kazoos and cuffs and sent us up to our spot in the parade line.  We were number 17.

And then we waited.

And waited.

And had a dance party.

And played pop songs on our kazoos.

And waited.

Then we were interviewed by The Salt Lake Tribune, who happened to think we were pretty great.

And then we waited some more.

And then we marched.

Between two officers who would routinely yell absolutely wonderful things like, “Convicts, hands up.”  And then we would raise our arms into the sky and the crowds would cheer.  Then we’d get to playing “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” and that’s when things got really wild.  We had a close run in with a beer bottle and a couple of invisible dogs, but all in all, a really good day.

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