As a nineteen year-old from Heber City, UT I could have made it big . . .

Were I alive in 1983, AND hanging around the Knoxville Civic Auditorium on May 21st, I could have been, Miss Utah, the 13th runner up in the Miss United States Pageant.

Only no one would vote for me:

1) because I word-vomit in front of crowds, 
2) and am really very clumsy, 
3) and would never wear a swimsuit if I knew that a video-recording device was in 100 yards of my person.

 . . . but other than that, I think I had a pretty good shot.

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