Public Transportation

About a year ago I experienced public transportation for the first time. And since then I have experienced it a few other times. However those adventures weren’t nearly as obesely grand as was the first. So here it is. The absolute truth in a dramatized fashion . . .


So once upon a time there was this girl who everyone loved, and her name was Marie,

and she was me. She went on a public bus and a shim (she/him) sat behind her and a lady who just got released from prison sat in front of her. Needless to say she was quite terrified.


However she decided that “this bus wasn’t big enough for the three of us” and she beat up the shim. And then the prison lady came after her. So she ran and ran and ran until she was able to grab an old bitty’s poodle purse and swing it with all of her might. And then after all of that effort she missed so she had to run real fast and the bus driver wouldn’t stop because he was paranoid about alien activity. So she had to start crawling underneath the seats. Which were in fact infested with all sorts of nasties. But she managed to get tucked away in a spot where the prison lady couldn’t find her and finally the door opened and she made a mad dash for it . . . only the prison lady was able to grab her ankle. So she just ended up banging her head on a mailbox instead of gracefully flying over it.


And she bled for six blocks. Literally.


Needless to say a cop came up and asked the young girl just what she thought she was doing, and when she told him he didn’t believe her, but he couldn’t just leave her there to bleed to death, so he put her on the front of his bicycle (he was a bicycle cop) and took her to the emergency room straightway. And also needless to say, the emergency room thought that he was her abusive father so he got carted off to jail. And then they bandaged up her head and gave her the most awfulest medicine until she was able to get better. Only she didn’t think the medicine helped one wink.


And when she came home . . . the prison lady was waiting for her!! Only so was her big sister, and she was way meaner than the prison lady so the prison lady got all scared and scurried off in a hurry. And everything was alright.


The End


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